Today I’m 38 weeks pregnant (2 more weeks until baby’s due date!) and I haven’t posted on the blog in two months. Why? Because pregnant. All I can think about right now is baby stuff. Baby shopping, cleaning, nesting, researching random chemicals and sleep practices and blah blah blah. Fashion, what? Style, what? And since this isn’t a baby blog, I’ve neglected it. However, I thought it would be nice to journal and share some of my random thoughts as D-Day (delivery day) draws near!
MATERNITY PHOTOS. These are our “maternity photos.” This is us, 37 weeks pregnant in a photobooth at my cousin’s wedding last week. I see these pictures and I think about how much I love my husband. I think about all the fun we have being complete nerds, just doing our own thing. And I think about how happy it makes me that we have those things as a foundation to raise our kid on. Aren’t those the feelings maternity photos are supposed to evoke? I thought I would be all over traditional maternity photos with styling, scenery, and lighting just so, but I just. don’t. care. I first realized this right after MJ snapped this photo of me on the couch:
I look at it and can’t help but smile or laugh. I was 34 weeks pregnant at the time and was relaxing with my puppies after a hot July day. I’m wearing a crop top with my belly out (a common occurrence), I’m mixing animal prints, and there is junk spread out over the coffee table. It carries meaning for me because my husband took the photo, it wasn’t pre-planned, and I’m just 100 percent being myself. Nothing else can give me a memory like this.
MATERNITY “STYLE.” My philosophy is HELL NO I don’t want a closet full of maternity clothes after this is all over. As a result, I own zero pairs of maternity jeans and I wear mostly dresses or stretchy clothes, most of which I owned previously. Thank the lord for being pregnant in summer (I have AC, the sun’s out, and all the yummy fruits and veggies are in season, what’s not to love?)! In the end, my maternity style has been a bit boring but functional. And I saved a ton of money. When I lounge around the house I wear my yoga pants and when I have to look presentable I throw on a dress in varying degrees of fancy, depending on the occasion.
Stretching my pre-pregnancy wardrobe. Black skirt and crop top: 34 weeks. Vintage (thrifted) teal evening dress: 37 weeks. Click to see larger.
WEIGHT GAIN AND REGULAR DIET. I’ve accumulated a little over 30 lbs weight gain at this point. Not too bad in my opinion, or that it’s any of your business. However, it helped me to talk with other women about their experiences, so I thought I should also share mine. My goal was to max out at 30 lbs (the Institute of Medicine recommends a range of 25-35 lbs for women of “normal” pre-pregnancy body mass index), but I’m so close now I honestly could give a crap about an exact goal. I’ll have a double serving of ice cream cake for lunch if I feel like it, because it works with my lifestyle. Note: yes, I do indulge in junk food, but most of my meals are healthy and filled with whole foods, and I’m still getting my exercise in a few times a week. It’s all about balance and not feeling restricted, which has always been my philosophy when it comes to food regardless of carrying a fetus in my abdomen or not. Eat the cake and doughnuts, as long as it makes you feel good. For me, that means knowing when to take a break and feed my body the other things it craves like fruits and vegetables, fiber, oatmeal, yummy homemade salads, non-processed foods, complex carbs like quinoa instead of junky stuff like bread…you get the picture. In the end, I feel healthy and I feel good about myself. I sometimes worry about fitting back into my pre-prego clothes, but that’s a normal thought. I just have to trust that balance in all things will bring me happiness and health.
A RANDOM ASSORTMENT OF PREGNANCY SIDE EFFECTS
1. The potato bug. When your belly gets big, it’s really hard to roll over and get out of bed effectively. Sometimes I feel like a potato bug or beetle stuck on its back.
2. Nesting. It’s real. Prepping for baby in the form of vacuuming every crevice of the house or rearranging the living room is my current reality. I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to take advantage of the energy surges and motivation to clean my house with such fervor again, so I’m gladly taking advantage now.
3. Pregnancy brain and energy fluctuations. I thought pregnancy brain was a complete myth men made up to give their wives shit or women made up to blame for unsatisfactory behavior. But alas, in my 37th week of pregnancy, it happened. I woke up one day inexplicably exhausted (and thirsty). Later while walking the dogs, I realized everything my husband was saying was hitting my skull and bouncing out before it could stick. I had no capacity to retain information or make decisions. Weird!
4. Unwanted attention. Sometimes it’s nice when someone holds open a door or is willing to let me rattle on about pregnancy minutiae for an eternity. Most of the time, I don’t like the fact that people treat me so differently, or give me extra attention that is mostly focused on my belly. Now I know what some women complain about when people stare at their boobs. Eyes up here! I cringe when I walk through a door and the first thing someone comments on is my growing stomach. I know people are excited, but it doesn’t feel good to be recognized first for a body part and then secondly as a human being. Especially when people exclaim “you’re so big!” That phrase makes me feel so good about myself–said no woman ever. And no, I don’t want you to touch my belly. And how am I feeling? Just fine; exactly the same as the last ten times I was asked. Again, I know that people are excited for me and are trying to be nice or break through my ice-cold exterior. It’s just so refreshing to be treated as a normal human being rather than a carrier of cargo.
WHAT I MISS. Sushi feasts. Jeans with shirts tucked in the front. Button-up shirts (I can’t button any of mine thanks to growing boobies). An occasional drink. Sleeping on my back. Not having to pee before I leave for the store, once I get to the store, and again when I arrive home.
THINGS TO REMEMBER. Feeling baby move for the first time. Calling my stomach “baby house.” Singing to baby and hoping he understands what’s going on. My husband loving and embracing my body even through all the changes. All. the. coconut. oil. Our dog Buddy trying to lay on baby house. Seeing our baby on the ultrasound for the first time. Murphy riding in the stroller. All the times I played The Eagles or Prince. Lovely baby showers and feasts with loved ones. Baby’s movements making my stomach roll like a wave. My fear of going into labor the day I happen to have really greasy hair.
THE WAIT. Will I get to meet my little man today or three weeks from now? Not having any freaking clue is the hardest thing. It means I have to live one day at a time and make the most of every moment. When you know you’re about to experience the most monumental change in your entire life, it’s easy to just want it to happen already and be over with. I have no idea what labor is going to be like. I have no obvious signs that it’s coming anytime soon. In the meantime, I just keep plugging away at to-do lists and leftover ice cream cake.
MATERNITY LEAVE. I don’t know when I’ll be “back” to regularly posting to Style Logical. I’m not going to lie, I have loved being a normal human being (again with that phrase, I know) for the last few weeks–not worrying about what to post, constantly editing photos, feeling pressure to rock my Instagram account–but I know I’ll eventually catch a wave of inspiration and ride it in to the shore of posting again. This blog is the main outlet for my creative expression; I’ve just been busy creating other things lately (namely, a little human!).